Animal; 711 Jokes
Aik dafa aik topian bechne wala darakht ke neche so raha tha ke wahan pr bandron us ki sari topian le kr dal len jab wo utha to daikh preshan ho gya
phr use yaad aya ke us ke dada kehte the bander nakal utarte hain
yeh soch ker us ne apni topi phainkdi
jo topi us ne phainki thi wo aik bander ne utha li or kaha hamare dada ne bhi hamain bataya tha
by Mohammad Awais Rashid (few years ago!)
Boy:abbu 1 glass pani dedo
abbu:khud uth k pe lo
boy:plz de do na
abbu:ab manga to thaphar marunga
boy:thapar marne ao to pani lete ana
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Husband wife lar rahe the
husband:tu kutti
wife: tu kutta
pas betha un ka acha bola:tommi
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
American : "our dogs find bombs"
Japanese : "our fish play footballs"
Pakistanis : "ye to kuch bhi nahi hamaray to
gadhay bhi sms parh laitay hain"...
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar Dharakt pe charha to upar bandar ne
pocha : Oper kyo aya?
Sardar: Apple Khanay
bandar: Yeh to aam ka darakht hai
Sardar: Pata hai, ais liye Apple sath laya hun
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
DO sardar jungle main ja rahy thay k achanak shair
( lion ) samnay a gaya .
1st sardar nay uski ankho main mitti daal di or
bhagnay laga.
1st sardar: o nus v ..!!
2nd sardar: mitti ty tu pai ay..tu nuss..!!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
ik pathan apne kandhe pe tota bitha kr ja raha
tha,
rastey me 1 admi ne rok k pucha
bhae ye konsa janwar hai
tota bola: pathan hai saala
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Pandit ji ke pas ek bolne wala tota tha.
Sharma ji jab bhi pandit ji ke ghar ke samne se
gujrate to
tota kahta: Aur bevkuf mote.
Sharma ji ne iski sikayat pandit ji se ki.
Pandit ji apne tote ko bahut danta aur use aisi
harkat karne se mana kiya.
Agle din jab sharma ji udhar se gujre to dekha ki
tota use dekh kar man hi man muskura raha hai.
Sharma ji jab use ignore kar aage badhe to tota
peeche se bola: Samajh to gaye hi hoge.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Arjun: “Main Chidiya Ki Aankh Fod Sakta Hoon”
Rajni Kant: “Main Chidiya Ki Aankh Ki Retina Ke
Blood Vessels Ke R.B.C Ke
Haemoglobin Ke Protein Ke Sixth Amino Acid Ke
Hydrogen Bond Ko Fod Sakta Hoon”
Arjun: “Guru Ji, Aap To Serious Ho Gaye, Mene To
Majak Mein Bola Tha“
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ullu aur shohar main kya Farq hota hai?
Shohar ko asani se Ullu banaya ja sakta hai…
jabki, Ullu itna ullu bhi nahi hota ke Shohar ban
jaye!!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Bhains par baithe ek gujju ko Traffic Police ne roka
aur poocha: tumhara helmet kahan hai? Fine
lagega.
Gujju replied: baawle dhyaan se dekh neeche! 4
wheeler hai.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
DENGUE SONG
BHEGAY PANK MERE
PYASA DUNK MERA
LAGEY AMRIT SA MUJHEY KHOON TERA
KABHI MERE SAAT AIK RAAT GHUZAR
TUJHEY KARDO MEIN BIMARA
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
80 saal ka Buddha rape case me jail gaya.
Dost:- Tune is umar me ye kiya kaise?
Buddhha:- Koi rape nahi kiya.
Ye to Ilzam itna mardana tha ki
mana kar nahi paya ...
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
1 Murgi ne india pakistan
border par 1 Anda diya.
Dono desh
1 ande k liye larrne lage,
Faisla hua jo dusre desh ki zyada ladkiyo ko kiss
karega
anda uska hoga,
Indians ne 20,000 pakistani
Ladkiyo ko kiss kiya,
Pakistani excited ho kar bole:=
Ab humari bari hai. Indians:= Chhoro yaar Anda
tum hi rakh lo.. =D :O =
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ek Baar Ek Indian Minister Obama Ke Saath Beach
Par Jata Hai, Baaton-Baaton Mein Obama Ne
Puchha
Obama: “Tumhe Swimming Aati Hai?”
Indian Minister: “Nahi”
Obama Hanste Hue: “Tum Se To Kutta Achha Hai Wo
Bhi
Swimming Kar Leta Hai”
Indian Minister: “Tumhe Aati Hai?”
Obama Ne Fatafat Jawab Diya: “Haan”
Indian Minister: “To Sale, Tum Mein Aur Kutte Mein
Farak Hi Kya Hua?“
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)