School and College; 1241 Jokes
Ustaad shagird se: Janglaat kisse kehte hain?
Shagird: Jo jhung laato se khele jaye usse janglaat kehte hain.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A student waz asked to write a signboard 4 da traffic rules near the school
He wrote:Drive carefully!Dnt kill the students,wait for the Teachers!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
New Teacher:
anybody who thinks he is stupid, stand up
pappu stoodup
Teacher: R U stupid?
Pappu: “nhi, Aap akeli khari theen mujhe acha nhi lag raha tha”
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
In Exam Hall Boy Askd To A Girl:
‘Mjhe Bs Is Answr Ki Starting Bta Do
Baki Mai Likh Lunga.’
Lrki Ne Dhyan Se Idhr Udhr Dekha,
Phir Dheere Se Boli:
Four things boys do in the
Examination Hall1.
Counting the Girls2.
Counting the fans & tube
lights3. Reading the brand
name of their pen4.
Thinking of studying for at
least next ExamsFour
things Girls do in the Exam
Hall1.Write2.Write3.Write4
.And just WriteAata ho ya
na aata ho….
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Teacher: Oye Tumko KUTTEY par Mazmoon
Likh kar Laney ka kaha tha?
Pathan: Hum kya karey, jab Hum ne KUTTEY par Pen rakha tö wo Hamara tang par
Kaat krar bhag gaya.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
sardar Exam main betha copy py apna panja bana rha tha
Teacher: Paper main hath ki diagram ka koi question nhi
sardar:main paper banany waly pe lanat bhej rha hun..
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Teacher: Es mohawary ko Jumlay mai estimal karo
“Mun mai pani ana”
.
Sardar Student: Jese hi mai ne nal ko mun se lag kar nal chalo kia tu mere mun mai pani agia
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Santa : Cheel ko English main Kya Kehte Hain.
Banta : Eagle
Santa : Agar cheel bimar ho jaye to?
Banta : Illeagal
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I?m not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Teacher:
Dunya me kitne
Bar-e-Azam hen?
Pathan:
4
Teacher:
Kn Kn Se?
Pathan:
1. Quaid-e-Azam
2. Sikandar-e-Azam
3. Mughal-e-Azam
Or
4. Mera Chacha
Haji Azam.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Teacher: Agar me tumhari maa ban jau to tumhain 2
din me sudhar du!
Bacha: teacher me abhi ja ker
apnay papa ko btata hu k..
papa apki lotery lgne wali hai
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class
Think +ve:)
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
PROFESSOR:Akal badi yah bhais?
MUNNA: Pehlay dono k date of birth bata mamu.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
PROFESSOR TO MUNNA: Gandhi Jayanti k baray mein batao?
MUNNA: Bole tu Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin pata k yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)