Food and Drink; 252 Jokes
Santa: Dettol sabun hai?
Dukandaar: Hai,
Santa: Accha wala?
Dukndar: Haan
Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na?
Dukndr: Haan
Santa: Acha tu phir Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta dedo.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aik restaurant mein gahak nay shikayat ki keh mein gosht ka yeh parcha mosalsal 40 minute say katnay ki koshish kar raha hon magar nakam hon.
Aap pareshan mat hon! Behray nay itminan say jawab di restaurant aik bajay tak khula rahe ga.
Yar pareshan kiun ho? Hostel mein rehnay walay aik larkay nay doosray say poocha.
Woh bola kia bataon yar! Ghar khat likha tha keh table lamp khareedna hai paisay bhej dein lekin inhon nay table lamp hi bhej dia hai.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Baap bête khana kha rahay the to betay nay kaha: Abbu….
Baap nay kaha: chup karo khana khatay waqt baat nahi kartay.
Jab dono baap beta nay khana kha lia to baap nay kaha: Beta kia keh rahay the?
Betay nay jawab dia: Abbu Salan mein makhi thi woh kha gaye hain.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aik aadmi ko buhat pias lagi huyi thi. Woh aik sharbat walay kay pas gia aur kaha mujhay aik glass sharbat do. Phir kaha meri larayi honay wali hai.
Sharbat walay nay dheyan nahi dia aur sharbat ka glass pesh kia.
Woh aadmi sharbat pi kar bola. Mujhay aik glass sharbat aur do meri larayi honay wali hai.
Sharbat walay nay suna magar kuch kaha nahi. Phir is nay kaha.
Sharbat walay nay tisra glass bhi dia aur jab is nay sharbat pi lia to is nay pucha aap ki kis say larayi honay wali hai.
Is aadmi nay kaha. Tum say kiun keh meray pas denay kay liye sharbat kay paisay nahi hain.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aik perley darge ke sust-ul-wajood shaks ne apne aik dost se kaha. Bhai meri to hamesha qudrat ne madad ki hai.
Kaise?
Sust aadmi bola.
Main ne kuch darakht girane ka program banaya tha ka toofan aagia aur kuch darakht gir gia is kay baad mujhe kura karkat ke dher ko jalana tha kay aasmani bijli karki aur kura karkat kay dher khud ba khud jal kar rakh ho gia.
Ab kia program hai.
Dost ne sust-ul-wajood se pucha.
Mera program zameen se aaloo gajarain nikalne ka hai aur main is kam ke liye zalzaley ka muntazir hon.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Bacha park mai betha ek ke baad ek toffee kha raha tha.
Paas betha 1 aadmi bola: Jo zada metha khata hai wo jaldi mar jata hai.
Bacha: Aap ko maloom hai mere dada ki umar 100 saal hai.
Admi: Wo metha kam khate hon ge?
Bacha: Nahi, wo apne kaam se kaam rakhte hain.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Professor khaali plate mein roti dubo kr kha rha tha…..
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Waiter: aap ye kia kr rhe ho??
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Prof: Hum maths teacher hain,
humne daal suppose ki hui hai
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Faqeer phone pay: Hello pizza hut? Awaaz aaye: Yes!
Faqeer: 2 large pizza aur 1 coke bhej do.
Awaaz aaye: Kiss kay naam pay? Faqeer: Allah kay naam pay baba.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.
Pathan ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh diya,
“Main toh aaya hi nahi tha”
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Pathan Motorway Pe Cigerate Pite Huye Bhag Raha Tha
Police wale Ne Pucha:
Kia Kr Rhe Ho?
Pathan: Hum Dekh Raha Hy k 1 Cigerate Kitne Kilometer Chalta Hay.(,")
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
,"Pathan Apni Girlfrnd Se
Mere Dil Main Ek Bat Hai
Girl
Keh Do.
Pathan
Ni Mjhy Sharam Aati Hai.
Girl
Kaho Na
Pathan
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Tumhre Pas Naswar Hai.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Pathan 2 Sardar:
Maine Aisa Mashroob Banaya Hai
Jise Peete He Insan Such Bolne Lagta Hai.
Tum Pee Kar Dekho.
Sardar (Mashroob Pee Kar):
Aakh Thoo, Yeh To Tail Hai.
Pathan: Dekha Tumne Such Bola,
Yeh Waqai Tail Hai.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
first friend: yar aaj main nay PC hotel main sirf 50 ropay main khana khaiya
2nd friend: naheen yaar woh kaisay?
ist friend: yaar bill to 2000 bana tha unhoan nay police ko bulwa liya aur main nay 50 ropay day ka jan churwai
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Larki.;K mat kar mera pecha ik din tu pachtay ga…
Colg k bahr aloo choolay ki shop lagay ga…
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Larka.;- tu mat thokra mere peyar ko.
Ik din pachtay gi..
Usski alooo choolay ki shop pe bartan saaf karti nazar ay gi.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Boy: Is Your Body From McDonald . . . ?
Girl: Why, Because You’re Loving It . . . ? ;)
Boy: No, Because It’s Greasy N Fat . . . ;P ;D
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)