Marriage; 901 Jokes

A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage.

A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”

Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar : Three months

Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad

Baniya : Kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : To kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : Mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar

Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband to Wife

Husband to Wife : Mein shaadi se pehle 20 auraton ke saath so chuka hoon.

Wife : Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatein bhi zarur milti hogi!!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
On first night after marriage

On first night after marriage

Wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.

Husband : I thinK because this is your first night.

Wife : No, no.. Actually it is first time in night…

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
whenever we keep the money

Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
.
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife shopping karke wapas aayi,

Wife shopping karke wapas aayi,
To husband wife se samaan laate hue bola,

“Zaror Tm Mere Khane K Lye Kch Lai Hogi?”

Wife : Bilkul theek kaha, esme mere new sandel hain!!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
What will u give me

Wife : What will u give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband : Le, isme pucchne wali kya baat hai…DHAKKAA!!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife to Hubby

Wife to Hubby : Mein tumhari jindagi ki kitab hoon.

Husband : Yehi to afsos hai.
Calendar hoti to har saal change to kar leta!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife to Husband

Wife to Husband : Meri to koi aulad nahi hai isliye sochti hu ki apni saari jaydad kisi sadhu ko daan kar dungi

Yeh sunkar pati uthkar jane laga

Patni : Tum kaha ja rahe ho?
Pati : Sadhu ban-ne

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Darling kuch Saal Pehle Mera Figure

Wife : Darling kuch Saal Pehle Mera Figure COKE Bottle jesa Tha

Husband gusse se bola : Figure To Aaj B Coke jesa hi hai.

Pehle Reguler Bottle thi ab jumbo pack hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan

Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan kahan se aaya?

Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar. Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife to Santa

Wife to Santa : “You don’t love me at all”

Santa points towards their five children and says“Do you think I donwloaded them from google”

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Smart Wife

Letter from husband ( who is abroad) to wife

Dear Sweetheart:

I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.

You are my sweetheart
Your husband Allen

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
What is the similarity

Banta : What is the similarity between marriage and 11:59 pm?

Santa : Dono ke baad 12 bajte hai aur din badal jate hai!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

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