Marriage; 901 Jokes
A husband and his wife were having problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The man realized he would have to be woken up at 5:00AM by his wife the next morning, which means he would have to break the silent treatment (and LOSE).
So he decided to write a note to her, and put it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning he woke up to find out it is 9:00AM, he missed his flight!
He started getting up, just to find a note beside his bed that said "Its 5:00AM, you have to get up!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out,"Watch the wall!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go on our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It`s the opportunity of a lifetime.
We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I`ll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. A week later he returns.
His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh no I didn`t. I put them in your fishing box."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek larka aur ek larki date per jaatai hain. Dono bhohut hi romantic mood mai hotai hain. Larki nai phir barai pyaar se larke sai poocha,
"kya tum shadi ke baad bhi mujse itna pyaar kero gai" Larkai nah jawab diya "haan agar tumhare husband koh itraaz nah ho to"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked,
"Are they relatives of yours?"
"Yes," his wife replied.
"I married into the family."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife: Agar mai gum ho Jaon to Tum Kiya Karo Ge?
Husband: Mai Akhbar me Add Donga!
Wife: Kiya Add do ge? Husband: "JAHAN RAHO KHUSH RAHO!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Newly married couple
.
Wife:
Humari shadi ko pure 24 ghante ho gae hai
.
Husband:
Ur dekho lgta hai jese kal he ki baat ho
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife: Main Maike Ja Rahi Hoon
Talaaq Ka Notice Bhej Doongi!
Husband: Ja Ja Chali Ja Meethi Meethi Baatein Ker K
Khush Krne Ki Koshish Mat Ker.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
What every man wants
Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting cooperative wife, but it’s sad that law allows only one wife.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn`t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you`re cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn`t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She`s not only bald, but she`s too cheap to buy any perfume!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
GF IS BEAUTY and WIFE IS DUTY,
GF IS SPRINGROLL and WIFE IS DABBAGOL,
GF IS CHUSKI and WIFE IS RISKY,
GF IS TOOIFROOTY and WIFE IS KISMAT FUTY...
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife: Honey: What are You Looking for in that paper?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband asks, Do u know the meaning of WIFE. It means...
Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE on hearing this says, it could also mean- With Idiot For Ever.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
aik pathaan ki biwi ko pathaan par bohat pyaar ayaa
Wo boli aap lakhon main aik ho
pathaan ne aik zor se chapair mari aur bola baqi 999 kon hain
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)