Men; 1817 Jokes
Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
An eldely Jewish couple on their way to a vacation in Hawaii, got into an argument about the correct pronunciation of Hawaii.
He was sure it was Havaii, but she maintains that it was Hawaii.
As soon as they landed they asked the first person they saw, "Would you mind telling me the name of this island?"
"Havaii!", the man replied.
"Thanks", answered the man.
"You're Velcome," the man replied.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend. "Why shouldn't I?" said Jane. "Well, maybe he is having an affair?" "No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
"The car won't start," aid a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburettor."
"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburettor is."
"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburettor."
"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"
"In the swimming pool."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were infact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in ya."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave.
The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
There was a couple who had been married for a long time, and one day, they were walking through the park together, when they saw a young couple sitting on a bench, kissing each other very passionately. So the wife said to the husband, "Honey, why don't you do that?" And the husband said, "How? I don't even know that lady!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.
"I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right."
He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," she said.
With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
"I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband, “I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?”
Husband replied, “Your eyesight is still excellent.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A retired couple is lying in bed one night and are discussing all aspects of their future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?" husband asked wife.
After some thought, she said, "I'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age."
Then wife asked husband, "What will you do if I die first?"
He replied, "Probably the same thing."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Okay," she said. "and if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
How was your blind date ? " a college student asked her roommate.
" Terrible ! " the roommate answered. " He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce".
" Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad
about that ? "
"He was the original owner."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)