School and College; 1241 Jokes
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Be sure that you go straight home.
I can't; I live just round the corner!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
When I was your age; I thought nothing of walking 5 miles to school.
I agree, I don't think much of it myself!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I didn't do my homework because I lost my memory.
When did this start?
When did what start?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off.
Pupil: You have my permission !
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Will you stop looking at the clock at the wall and pay attention?
Pupil: Time will pass, but will you?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Polish student was in his college
campus bookstore.
Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, "This book will do half the job for you."
"Good," the Polack replied, "I'll take two."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The principal had a problem with some girls who were starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors, leaving lip prints.
Before it got out of hand, he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off the mirrors. The principle then asked the custodian, who was present, to demonstrate.
The custodian took a long handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and vigorously rubbed the lipstick off the mirror.
From that day forward, the mirrors stayed lipstick free.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
It was the first day of a new school year.
Three boys arrive at class late and the teacher asks the first boy "Why are you tardy," the boy replies "I've been on Blueberry Hill" the teacher said "Take your seat."
She asks the next boy why he was late. "I was on Blueberry Hill also" he replied.
Then she asked the third boy, but he replied with the same answer.
As the boys we're sitting down a girl arrives in.
"Let me guess", said the teacher. "You where on Bluberry Hill aslo"
"NO.... I am Blueberry Hill" replied the girl.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.
The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"
The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking along minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!'"
The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Fred: I've added these figures ten times. Teacher: Good work! Fred: And here are my ten answers !
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Jackie: Nine. Teacher:
That's not right, you'd have eight. Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ? I don't know.
Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher : Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank ! Pupil : Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet !
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)