Latest Jokes

Some stupid students

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
Nobody stands up
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
Little Johnny stands up
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

by (few years ago!)
Good News And Bad News

At the doctor's office, Tom was getting a check up. "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor. "The good news is you have 24 hours left to live." Tom replies, "That's the good news?!" Then the doctor says, "The bad news is I should have told you that yesterday."

by (few years ago!)
The Meaning of Dreams

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

by (few years ago!)
Chemical formula for water

Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Student: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "What are you talking about?"
Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

by (few years ago!)
A man went to his lawyer

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the Rs5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only Rs 500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!" -

by (few years ago!)
I have the perfect son

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

by (few years ago!)
A bank robber

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"

by (few years ago!)
Hungry Lion

Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."

by (few years ago!)
Police officer attempts to stop a car

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!" -

by (few years ago!)
Difference between a cat and a comma

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

by (few years ago!)
Kamal Ki Cheez

Pathan: Is TV Ki Kiya Qeemat Hai.?

Salesman: 1 Lakh..

Pathan: Q Is Me Kiya Khas Baat Hai.?

Salesman: Light Chali Jaye Gi to
Ye Automatic Off ho jayega..

Pathan: Kamal Ki Cheez Hai Yaar,
Is Ko Pack Ker Do :-)

by (few years ago!)
Google Ziyada Acha Hai Ya Yahoo

Sardar: Yaar Ek Baat To Batao??

Pathan: Pucho..

Sardar: Google Ziyada Acha Hai Ya Yahoo..?

Pathan: Ek Minute Ruko,
Hum Abhi Google Per Search Ker K Batata Hai.. :-D :-)

by (few years ago!)
Mithai Ki Dukan

Dost: Tumhari Mithai Ki Dukan Hai,
Tum To Bohat Mithai Khaty Ho Gy..

Pathan: Nahi Yara,,
Abba Ras-Gullay Gin Ker Jata Hai
Is Liye Sirf
"Chooos" Ker Rakh Deta Hun.. ;-) :-D

by (few years ago!)
Me Ny Bohat Sary Paise Bachaye

Pathan Ka Bacha Khushi Khushi Bhagta Hua Aaya..

Pathan: Kiya Hua.??

Bacha: Baba Aaj Me Ny Bohat Sary Paise Bachaye..

Pathan: Wo Kese.??

Bacha: Mere Ek Daant Me Dard Tha,
Me Wo Nikalwany Dentist K Pass Gaya,
Us Ny Kaha: "Meri Fees 500 Rupay Hai,
Tum Chahy Ek Daant Nikalwao Ya Sary.."
Phir Baba Me Ne Rs.500 Me
Saary Daant Nikalwa Diye.. :-D

by (few years ago!)
Bahar Nikal

Pathan: Yara Toilet se jaldi
Bahar Nikalo, Hum Ko Bhi Jana Hai..
Sardar: Sun Raha Hai Na Tu..
Dho Raha Hun Me :-) :-D

by (few years ago!)

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