Blonde; 51 Jokes

Number On Calculate

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the "10" button.

by (few years ago!)
Aankhey Band Karney Par

Santa: Mujhe Tou Aankhey
Band Karney Par Bhi Dikhayi Deta Hai

Banta: Achchaa, Kya Dikhta Hai?
Santa: Andhera

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Walking the Dogs

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"

The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."

The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?"

The blonde sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??"

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Dead Bird

One day a blonde and a brunette were walking down to the grocery store when the brunette pointed out to the blonde "oh, hey look at that dead bird.."

The blonde looks around around up in the sky for a few minutes and says "hmm, I don't see any dead ones."

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Light Bulb

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Speeding Ticket

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

by Kamran (few years ago!)
More Blonde Q&A

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

by Kamran (few years ago!)

A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk "Where do you keep the curtains for computers?" The clerk answers with a puzzled face "Curtains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." The blonde's eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers "Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!"

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Motorcycle Argument

Why are the two blondes on the motorcycle arguing about? Who gets the window seat.

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Speaking with Husband

Two blondes are talking to each other:
- When you make love, do you speak with your husband?

- If he calls me.

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Dog Barking

A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor’s dog starts barks and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!' She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?' The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbor’s dog barking all night.'

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Two Blond Girls on the Train

Two blondes are on a train, sitting in a cabin next to an older gentleman who happens to have a long beard.

One of the blond girls whispers to the other 'Wow, look, it's Charles Darwin!!'

'Are you stupid, he's been dead for over 200 years!' the other blonde replies.

Just then, another older man walks into the cabin and says 'Howdy Charles, I haven't seen you for hundreds of years, what have you been up to?'

The first blonde says to the second 'Who's stupid now?'

by Kamran (few years ago!)

A blonde is missing for three days. Her husband is very worried and searches for her everywhere, calls the cops, but nothing turns up. On the third day the blonde shows up at home and her husband opens his eyes widely and looks at her in disbelief. He starts talking to her:
- Where have you been!? We've been looking everywhere for you!

- I was kidnapped, and they kept me for a week!

- Wait, you've only gone for three days!

- I know silly, but I have to go back for another four!

by Kamran (few years ago!)
Uncovered Manhole

A blond is walking on the street when she suddenly falls inside an uncovered manhole.

She swears her way back up the ladder and manages to crawl all the way up, her clothes getting all torn up in the process.

When she gets back to the top she wipes off the sweat from her forehead and says "Thank God the hole wasn't covered, or I would've never made it out!"

by Kamran (few years ago!)
A blonde's redhead decides

A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people -- you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!

"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.

"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

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