Lawers and Legal; 128 Jokes

Judge Sardar Se

Judge: Is Sardar K Dono Kan Kat Do

Sardar: Nhi Main Andha Ho Jaon Ga

Judge: Kan Katny Se Andha Kese Ho Jao Gy

Srdar: Chashma Tere Bap Ky Kan Pa Rakhon Ga

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak lene ke liye kia sharayat lazmi hoti hain ? Wakil Bola “Talak lene ke liye aap ko shadi shuda hona zarori hai”

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
What is your fees?

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?

Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.

Banta: Isn't it too high?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Judge Wakeel

WAKEEL:
My Lord, Kanoon Ki Kitaab K Safa Number
15 K Mutabik Mere Mowakkil Ko Ba-Izzat Bari Kiya Jaye,
JUDGE:
Kitaab Pesh Ki Jaye,
(Kitaab Pesh Ki Gayi)
Judge Ne Safa Numbr 15 Khola
To Us Mein 5000 K 4 Note Thay,
JUDGE:
Es Tarha K 2 Saboot Aur Pesh Ki Jayen.:)

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Judge Mujrim

Judge: Tmhari Akhri Wish?
Mujrim:Aap Ki Beti Se Shadi,
Nokia N97, 5 Crore Rupaye,
USA Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka
Haneymoon,
6-7 Bache Jo Aap Ko Nana Nana Kahen Or Mujhe Papa,
Or Main Un Sab Ki Shadi Karwa Dun,
Uske Baad Aap Jo Fesla 2 Mjhe Manzor Honga.
Judge: Ha Ha Ha… Meri Koi Beti Hi Nhi..Tango Saale Ko

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Judge Sardar Se

Judge:
Is Sardar K Dono Kan Kat Do

Sardar:
Nhi Main Andha Ho Jaon Ga

Judge:
Kan Katny Se Andha Kese Ho Jao Gy

Srdar: Chashma
Tere Bap Ky Kan Pa Rakhon Ga.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
You have been sentenced to death

Judge: You have been sentenced to death, however you can choose the way you want to die.

Accused: I want to die of old age, your honor

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A lawyer was driving

A lawyer was driving his Ford down the street, singing to himself, "I love my Ford." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He survived, but his car was Crashed. "My car! My car!" he sobbed.

Another man was driving by and cried out, " you're bleeding! your left arm is gone!"

The lawyer, sobbed again, "My Rolex! My Rolex!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Greedy Lawyer

Lawyer: Now that your case is settled, I'd like to explain my fees to you.

You owe me $600 now and $355.85 a month for the next 48 months.

Client: "I've never heard of such a fee schedule! Why, it sounds so much like car payments!"

Lawyer: "Yeah, you're actually right -- mine."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Very Greedy Lawyer

"I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too concerned about making money."

"Why do you think that?"

"Listen to this from his bill: 'Cost for waking up at night and thinking about your case: $50.99."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The Judge asked the woman

The Judge asked the woman in court “Is your appearance before me today solely
down to the warrant that the court sent to your lawyers?"

"Certainly not" she replied " I always dress this way when going to work.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Funny Lawyer

A man was in court and the Judge asked him “For the record, state to the court
your birth date". "June 20th" replied the man."Which year" asked the judge.
"Every year" replied the man.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Comedy Lawyer

Two friends were at the zoo and one said to the other "What does your Dad do
for work". He drives a coach. "What about yours?" asked the second boy in
return. "He's a lawyer" came the reply. "Honest" exclaimed the first boy "No,
he's like all the others" came the reply.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
should never say

Is it true that you were present until you left the building?

Who was it that got killed in the accident - you or your sister?.

When the two cars collided, how far away from each other were they?

Was that the first time that your brother had committed suicide?

When he took your photo, were you present?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Doctor giving evidence

A Doctor giving evidence in a courtroom is asked the question "Doctor, can
you tell the court the number of autopsies that have been performed by you on
dead people?"
"All of them were dead" replied the Doctor.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

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