Food and Drink; 252 Jokes

2 ghantay aatay ki line main

2 ghantay aatay ki line main khara rehte huye ek
aadmi ghussay se chillaya. "Main Zaradari ko goli
marnay ja raha hon." Kuch dari baat woh wapas
aakr aatay ki line main khara ho gaya. Kisi ne
pucha. "Kyon Maar Diya?" Usne maayusi se jawab
diya. "Wahan pe bhi line lagi hui hai."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Some say Whisky is Risky

Some say Whisky is Risky,
Some say Whisky bina Zindagi Miss ki,
But .. Rum, Beer ya ho Whisky,
Koi Nhi Grlfrnd se Zyada Risky !
Aaj Iski, kal pata nhi Kisky

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Karan Johar bar me

Karan Johar bar me Beer peene aaya..
9 bottle peene ke baad,
Waiter :Aap ko chadhti kyu nahi?
Karan :"Main mard hoon"
Waiter: Chadh gayi saale ko...!!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Pathan: Halwai se

Pathan: Halwai se,Tum kitne saal se jalebi bna rhy
ho!
Halwai: Bare fakhar se 30 saal se,
Pathan:lakh di lanat e Tere kolon aj tak jalebi sidhi
nai bani..

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Dahi daal rahe thay!

Darya k kinaaray 2 Sardar chamach se darya mai
Dahi daal rahe thay!
Pathan ne dekha to poocha: Khocha yeh kya kar
rahe ho…?
Sardar: Hum Lassi bana rahe hain!
Pathan: Ha Ha Ha…! O pagal ka bacha, log isi liye
tum par Lateefa banatay hain…!
Itna Lassi tumhara baap piyega.Ha.ha.ha.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ek baar santa ko nakli bidi pite dekh b

Ek baar santa ko nakli bidi pite dekh banta bola:
Yaar, bidi se dhua kyun nahi nikal raha?
Santa: Are bewkuf, dhua kaha se aayega, ye CNG
bidi hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Banti: uncle, papa ne chini magwai hai

Banti: uncle, papa ne chini magwai hai
Dukandaar: Aur kya kya kaha hai tumhare papa
ne?
Banti: Agar wo mota na de to, sharma uncle ki
dukan se le aana.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Santa: Mujhe aaj tumhari

Santa: Mujhe aaj tumhari ungliyan katani paregi,
Wife: Kyu?
Santa: Pappu kah raha tha Lady Finger ki sabji
khani hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
2 lovers apple kha rhe the

2 Lover APPLE Kha Rahe The
Ankho Me Ankhe Daal Ke!
Ladki Sharma K-Tum Itna Ghur Kyo Rahe Ho
Ladka- Thoda Thoda Kha 'BHUKI'
135 Rs. kilo hai..

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Pappu ko dost ne dinner pe bulaya.

Pappu ko dost ne dinner pe bulaya.
Pappu jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga
tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewqoof banaya tumko….
Pappu ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh diya,
“Main toh aaya hi nahi tha”

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Kabhi aapne socha hai….

Kabhi aapne socha hai….
Tawe pe pada popcorn uchalta kyo hai ? Socho !!
Thik se socho !!
Nahi soch paye ? Thik hai, jawab chahiye…
Khud baith ke dekh lo tawe par,
pata chal jayega.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Faqir:10rs dedo chai peyonga

Faqir:10rs dedo chai peyonga Seth:chai to 5 ki
hai.....Faqir: Girl friend ko b pelaonga.....Seth:
Faqiro ne b Grl Friend banalin.....Faqir:nahi saab
Girl Friend na Faqir bana dia ha

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Baji bhoka hun

Faqeer:
Baji bhooka hoon, Allah k naam thora sa khana
dedo.
Baji: Khana abi nai paka.
Faqeer:Baji number likh lo jab pak jay to misscall
de dena,

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar piza lene

Sardar pizza lene aik pizza shop pe geya
Shop wala:
-”sir pizza k 4 piece krney hain ya 8?”
Sardar:-
4 kar de yar Pata nai 8 khadey v jandey ne k nai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar went to hotel manager

Sardar went to hotel manager hurriedly and said:
Come with me.
My wife wants to jump out of the window.
Manager: Then what can I do sir?
Sardar: Window is not opening.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

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