This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam."

She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks.

"Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you."

The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?"

The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street."

So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. When the woman enters the building, the parrot begins complaining, swearing, and even bit her once.

Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is very cold.

She says, "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!"

The parrot says, "Okay, okay, I promise it won't happen again. I am deeply sorry."

Within five minutes, he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger.

The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes.

When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. "I swear it will never ever happen again! I will never insult you again! I promise!" As he thaws, he looks up at the lady and says, "I do have one question though. That turkey in there, what'd he do, attack you?"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1209 views

Tum konsi soap use kerte ho?

Ramu: tum kaunsi soap use karte ho?
Banta: Main Santa Soap, Santa Paste aur Santa
Shampoo use karta hoo
Ramu: wo kya international brand hai kya?
Banta: nahi, santa mera room mate hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

facebook

liked by almost every student?
.

by @irha@ (few years ago!)

peer baba

Peer:Bata agr koi Mannat
mangni ha to bta do.
Mureed:Plz mujhe phir se
unmarried wail zindagi day
dein.
Peer:Beta ‘Mannat’maango
‘Jannat’na maango..

by itrat batool (few years ago!)

Sardar Ji and Hitler Joke

Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"

Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"

by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)

Dada or dadi ne

Dada or dadi ne,apni jawani ke dino ko phir se yad kar ke manane ka socha,
.
unho ney faisla kia ke hum phir drya kinare milangay,
.
dada suba jaldi uth kar tyar ho ke, gulab le kar drya kinare pohncha, boht dair ho gayi dadi nahi ayi,wo ghusse me ghar aya, or phool phainkty howe bola, tum ayi kion nhi?
.
Dadi sharmaty howe boli:
.
Ammi ne jane nai diya

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)