As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1048 views

Main Is Khamoshi Ko Kya Samjhoo?

Husband From Wife:
Did U Have Any Boy Friend Before Marriage?

Wife Silent

Husband:Main Is Khamoshi Ko Kya Samjhoo? Wife:Abey Ginne To De..?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Rs. 1000 To Bikhari

Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting. Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him 1000 Rs. Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..? Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Dad what is an idiot

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Teacher and Student

Teacher: Zameen par rehne wali janwer bacche deti hai, Hawa mein urne wali andey deti hai!

Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi urti hai or bacche bhi deti hai??

Student: “Air Hostess!”

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Naam Kisi Aur Ka

Naam Kisi Aur Ka

Santa Ka Ladka: I'm A Complan Boy...

Santa Ki Ladki: I'm A Complan Girl....

Santa to Jeeto: Dekho ji, Mehnat Humne Kiya aur Naam Kisi aur Ka

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)