GM Like Computer Industry
At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got1,000 miles to the gallon."
General Motors has issued a press release stating:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car XP" or "Car 2000". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the justice dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You would press the "start " button to shut off the engine.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1173 views
Similar Jokes
Pathan’s Leave Application:
Dear Sir!
My Wife Is Ill.
And There Is No Other Husband
In Our Family To Look Aftr Her,
Kindly Grant Me Leave For 1 Day On Sunday.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Osama's Son was Poor in maths
Osama Hired a Teacher for him:---
On Very first Day:===
Teacher to Osama's son: how u would divide 4 apples among 5 people ???
Osama's Son: By Killing an Extra Man...
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Son: ‘ Mom, when I was on bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’
Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’
Son: ‘But mom, I was sitting in daddy’s lap.’
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 Admi Ki Maut K Bad Uska Dost Uski BV K Pas Aya Or Bola Kya Me Uski Jagah Le Skta Hu? BV:Muje Koi Aitraz Nhi QABRASTAN Walo Se Puch Lo ;
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pathan BLOOD Ke bare mein book parh raha tha
Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu parh rahe ho ji?
Pathan: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai ke kal mera BLOOD test hai iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar ki baiti usky driver ke sath bhaag gayi
Logon ne pocha: Sardar Hun ki karogy?
.
Sardar: Karna ki ae, hun gaddi aap chalawanga
by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”
by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar ko Gali mai 100 rupey ka note mela Note ke oper lekha tha “EID MUBARAK” .
Sardar ne idhar udhar dekha, owr Note Jaib mai rakthy howe bola “KHAIR MUBARAK”
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Sardar: I Saw My Wife Going To Movie With Watchman
Friend:Didn’t U Follow Them?
Sardar: No Yaar, I Have Already Seen That Movie
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Father to Son: Is Baar Exam main Pass huwe ya Fail,
BIKE Zarur Dilaunga.
Son: Konsi Bike?
... Father: Paas Huwe to HONDA 70,
College Jaane k Liye
Aur
Fail hue to YAMAHA 100
Doodh Bechne k Liye.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)