A policeman saw a car parked
One Friday night, a policeman saw a car parked up at "makeout point." Shining his flashlight in the window, he saw a young man fidgeting in the front seat glancing at his watch and a young woman sitting in the back seat and reading a magazine.
"Excuse me, son" said the cop, "but how old are the two of you?"
"I'm eighteen, sir, and" (checking his watch another time) "in ten more minutes, she'll be eighteen too!"
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!) / 976 views
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Effect of Aashiqui-2
Santa- Abe toilet se jaldi bahar nikal..
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Banta- Sun raha hai na tu.....
Dho raha hu main .
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Kabada maths :P
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Maths sir: wt is a ‘line’?
A genius answered:
A line is a dot, goin 4 a walk!
Sir again: so what r parallel lines?
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A dot goin on wlk with his girlfrnd !
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
How BEDROOM Smells Aftr MARRIAGE
1st 3MONTHS-Perfumes, Flowers,
After 1-3YEARS-Baby Powdr,
Cream, Lotions,
After 10-13
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by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek sahab masjid mein bethey waaz sun rahey they. “Naik logon ko marney key baad sattar (70) hoorein milein gi”, molvi sahab bata rahey they, “or un mein naik biwian bhee shamil hon gi”
Bhai sahab sun ker itna naraz huey key uth ker masjid sey nikal gyey, “to phir marney ka kia faida…”
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, tu kitna pada hai? MAMU: B.A.
MUNNA BHAI: Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Santa To Rikshaw Wala:
Arey O Bhai Khaali Ho
Kya… ? Rikshaw Wala:
Haan G Bilkul Khaali Hoon
Santa: Aao Chalo Phir Taash
Khelty Hyn . . . =P ;->
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Boy Apni Girlfriend Se:-
Yu Mat Kheench Tu Mujhe Apni Taraf Sanam..
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Branded T-Shirt hai..
Phat Gayi to Bahut Pitegi, Maa kasam..!!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.
by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)
A girl was thirsty.
She saw an ALA-DIN Chairagh beside her
She touched & ordered jin k meri pyas bhujao
JIN: “PEPSI wali ua IMRAN HASHMI wali”?
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)