What is the fastest thing in world?
What is the fastest thing in world?
Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Santa:It’s loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 878 views
Similar Jokes
Ek Memon Doctor K Pass Gaya Or Bola
K Ghar Ja Kar Mareez Check Karnay K Kitnay
Paisay Lo Gay?
Doctor:
Rs.300
Memon:
Chalain Doctor!
Doctor Ghar Pohanchay To Doctor Ne Pocha
K Mareez Kahan Hai?
Memon:
Mareez Koi Nahi Hai,
Sala Taxi Wala
500 Maang Raha Tha!
Or Aap 300 Main Lay Aaye…!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Banta Apne Dost Santa Ke Ghar Aya Hua Tha, Kuch Der Baad Apas Mein Baatein Marne Ke Bad Bola.
Banta: “Yaar Main To Ghar Chala, Aaj TV Pe 40 Feet Ka Saamp Dikhane Wale Hai, Maja Aa Jayega Dekh Ke”
Santa Udas Hote Hue: “Haan Yaar Maja To Aayega, Par Main Nahi Dekh Paunga”
Banta: “Kyu?”
Santa: “Kya Karu Mera TV To Sirf 21 Inch Ka Hi Hai Na“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A handsome Boy to Girl : can I take your picture??
.
.
.
.
Girl (happily):- Awww…Of course! whY not.
.
.
.
.
After taking the picture:
Boy: “Thank you very much.. I justlove to collect images of Natural Disasters.!”…
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
*LARNE se MOHABBAT barrhti hai.
"FÄRÄZ".
Ye keh kr Wo Meri Ankh py "Mukka" Mar k bhag gai!
... .
.
.
.
.
<(',*)
("( /
/ /
Dekh yr PAGAL ki Bachi ko.....
Bolti hai k
12 Mahiney me
12 Tareeqey se Tujh pe Pyar Lutaon gi Main
Abi to ek Tareeqa howa hai or 11 baki hai:
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
*Anmol Moti*
Agr Tm Chahtey ho K Tmhry Pas Hmesha Dosto Ka Hjoom Rahy Tou Ye 4 Cheezaen Apney Pas Rkkho..
1.UPS
2.Genratr
3.Thanda pani
4.bareek pin wala charger
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Afridi lala tension na lu
me again ye record bana dun ga
ap ka apna misbah
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
American: Hamare yahan shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Laloo: Kamal hai hamare yahan to shaadi sirf female se hoti hai.
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Husband :ab tum hi aik wahid ho jo is ghar ko janat bana sakti ho
Wife:(khush ho k) kaise
Husband:apne meke ja kar
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Sardar: doctor sahib ye dawa to kahin se nahi mil
rahi.
Pathan doctor:
Ooh hoo.. dawai likhna to hum bhul hi gaya ye to
hamara signature hai.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)