Officer: Dekho, humme aisa

Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…

Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.

Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 891 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

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Teacher sardar se

Teacher sardar se: dahi ki english batao?
,
Sardar sochne k bad:
,
,
Milk sleeping in the night and swairey swairey tight.!:-)

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Aussie Love Story

Dazza is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day, when He

sees His Girlfriend Shazza about to throw herself off.

Dazza slams on the brakes and yells, "Shazza what in the Blazes d'ya think ya doin'?"

Shazza turns around with a tear in her eye and says,

"G'Day, Dazza.

You got me pregnant, so now I'm gunna kill meself".

Dazza gets a lump in his throat when he hears this.

"Shazza", he says "Fair dinkum love, not only are ya a top root, but

you're a real sport too!"

and drives off

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Why You Did Not Close Your Eyes

Boy : Why You Did Not Close Your Eyes When I Kisses You ?
.
.
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.
….
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Girl : Kaminay .. Last Time Eyes
Close Ki Thein, Tab Tu Ne Mere
Purse Se 500 Rupy Chura Liye The …

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Cheating

Lucky: Yaar mujhey kuch nahi aata tha main paper khali chor aya hon.
Banta: Main bhi!
Santa: Shit yaar, teacher samjhe gi hum ne cheating ki hay. :p :D

by Asim Raza (few years ago!)
Agar tumhara sms nahi aya tho

Girl:
Jaanu,
Agar tumhara sms nahi aya tho mein Roti nhi khaungi

Boy:
Sach?

Girl:
Haa,
Mei sirf Paneer partha, Ice-cream Kha Ke Guzara Karlungi

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Barrage Of Obama Jokes

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon

After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
~David Letterman

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)

Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon

You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno

President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek chote bacche ne

Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai?

Mummy : Issme pyara sa Baby hai.

Baccha : Itna pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Khushian

Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.

by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)
Bank manager asks Sardar

Bank manager asks Sardar in an interview: "What is cyclone"

Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Tumhe pata hai Mere papa

Santa: Tumhe pata hai Mere papa ek ungli se 8logo Ko Utha sakte hai
Banta:wow! Wo kaise?

santa: Qki Mere papa Lift Operator hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
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