Papu aur PAPA ek Hotel me gye..
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Papa: Waiter,
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1 Beer aur 1 Ice-Cream lao..
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PAPU: Ice-Cream kyu papa?
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Aap bhi Beer pijiye na.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1229 views

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Teacher: tum ro Q rahe ho?

Teacher: tum ro Q rahe ho?

Ladka:meri mummy mere papa ko kutta kehti h.
or papa unko BILLI,

mujhe samjh nhi aata ki main PILLA hu ya BILLA??

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

i will die

Wife- i will die.
Husband- i will also die.
Wife- Why do you want 2 die?
hasband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

Ek kanjoos ney kisi majboori key tehet kisi dost ki dawat ki

Ek kanjoos ney kisi majboori key tehet kisi dost ki dawat ki or usey khat likha key aap zehmat ker key aaj raat ka khana hamarey sath khayein or jo rookhi sookhi hazir hey, qabool farmayein.

Mehmaan samjha key mezbaan inkesaar sey kaam ley raha hey laikin jab wahan pohancha to waqai dastarkhwaan per rookhi sookhi roti or baasi daal pari thee.

Marta kia na kerta, mehmaan khaney beth gaya. Itney mein bahar ek faqeer ney awaz lagai. Kanjoos ney usey daant diya. Us ney phir awaz di to kanjoos ney kaha, “bhaag jao warna tumhara sar tor doon ga”

Mehmaan ney jaldi sey kaha, “Faqeer bhai, chaley jao, aadmi apni baat ka pakka hey, sach much tumhara sar tor dey ga”

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Cost Of Divorce

A little boy asked his father;

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

And the father replied;

"I don't know son, I'm still paying."

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)