My doctor told me
Santa Singh: My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold.
Banta Singh: Does it work?
Santa Singh: I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath.
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!) / 760 views
Similar Jokes
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
One day a kid goes to the teacher and says
KID: "Miss Can I Go To The Toilet"
TEACHER: "Yes but first you have to say the alphabet"
So He Says the alphabet.
KID: "A b c d e f g h i j k l m n o _ q r s t u v w x y z"
TEACHER: "Wheres The P"
KID: "Its Running down my leg miss"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
santa:- yaar bahut raat ho gyi h,
aaj raat ko yahi ruk ja,
subah chala jaio.
Banta:- theek h yaar,
fir main ghar se night dress le ata hu.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Boy:jis din se tum se mila hun main ne sharab aur cigrate nai pi
Girl:mere pyar ne tumhen sudhar dia na
Boy:teri waja tu meri jaib khali rahndi aae.
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Khargosh K F.Sc Mai Aye 75% Marks
Kachway K 50% Phr B Kachway Ka Univrsty Mai Admision Ho Gya
KAISE? Sports Basis Pe Na Yar
Bachpan Mai Race Nai Jeeta Tha
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ek aadmi pepsi saamne rakh ke udas betha tha.
Dost aaya pepsi Pee kar bola: kyun udaas hai?
Aadmi: Aaj to din hi kharab hai,
Subah Biwi se jhagda ho gaya,
Raste mein car kharab,
Office late, Boss ne nokri se nikal dia,
Ab suicide ke liye Pepsi mein zahar milaya tha.
Wo bhi tu pi gya.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa saw a board at d centre of a Pond.He tried reading bt culdnt.Atlast he swims to the centre of the Pond & Reads,"CROCODILE PRESENT,DONT SWIM"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Bus-Stop Par Akeli Khadi Chinki Ko Dekh, Ladka Uske Paas Gaya Aur Bola.
Ladka: “Mujhse Shaadi Karogi?”
Chinki: “Kya?”
Ladka: “Acchi Film Hai Na?”
Chinki: “Kutte Ke Bacche”
Ladka: “What…?”
Chinki: “Kitne Cute Hote Hai Na?“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Girl : Mujhe Kyu Dekh Rahe Ho?
Tumhari Koi Behan Nahi He Kya?
.
Boy : Hai Isi Liye To Dekh Raha Hu
.
Girl : Kyu ?
Boy : Meri Behan Ko BHABHI Chahiye... ;->
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Baccha :- Madam Aap Mujhe Bahut Achi Lgti Hein,
Mein Aap Se Shaadi Karu gaa..
Madam :- Gusse Se, Muje Bachon Se Nafrt H,
Baccha :- Ok Madam Mein Koshish Krun Ga Ke Bacche Na Ho,,,,,
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)