A woman goes to the doctor,
A woman goes to the doctor, and she’s beaten black and blue.
Doctor: “What happened?”
Woman, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every time my boyfriend comes home drunk he knocks lumps out of me."
Doctor, "I think I might have a cure for that. When your boyfriend comes home drunk, just take a mug of tea and start swishing it around in your mouth but don`t swallow it. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to his bed."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor no sign of bruising whatsoever.
Woman, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my boyfriend came home drunk, I swished with the tea. I just swished and swished, like washing machine and he didn`t touch me!"
Doctor, "See how much keeping your fuckin mouth shut helps?"
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!) / 553 views
Similar Jokes
Apna mobile uthao, hamara dil apko kuch batana
chahta hai..
Choro mobile wapas rakh do
Irada change ho gaya.
Phir kabhi...
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aadmi mango juice ka glass le kar baitha tha..!!
Dost aaya aur fataak se juice pee liya.!!!
Aadmi – Meri to yaar kismat he kharaab hai.. :(Beta fail ho gaya,
biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi,
ghar me chori ho gayi,
nal me paani nahi,
ghar me light nahi...
'
Ab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha aur wo bhi tu pee gaya kaminey! :P :D
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
ek pathan shadi ki raat ko bhaut preshan huwa ke apni biwi se kiya bolun?
Akhir woh bola
kiya aap ke ghar walon ko pata haiy ke aap yahan mere sath ho
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar park me baitha tha.
Friend:Kya kar raha hy?
Sardar: Badla le Raha hon!
Friend: Kese?
Sardar:Waqt Ne muje barbad kia hy ab ma waqt
barbad kar raha hon.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Funny Santa, Banta & Laloo ik scooter par ja rahe the. A traffic cop tried to stop them.
Funny Santa: Sorry phaji, already 3 baithe hain. Bilkul bhi jagah nahin hai.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A man meets god on his wife’s birthday. God tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his wife gets double.
The man thinks for a moment and then says, ‘OK, give me one million dollar and beat me half to death.’
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejne wala mahan, padhne wala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejne wala gadha, padhne wala mahan.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pati- Jab Maine ache kapde Pehn k Bazar Jata hu
to Sabziwala sabzi mengi deta hai Jab Gande Kapde
pehn k jata hu to sasti
BV- Kal se Katora le k jana
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
“GEO TO AiSEY”
Shadeed barish Me Bus Stop Pe Log BUS K iNtezar Me Khare They,
1 Faqeer Aya,
Sab Logon Se Bheek Li, Or Taxi krwa K Chala Gaya.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Secret of success:
1. Top mat karo warna log tumse
jalenge.
2. Class me late jao, har teacher tumhe
yaad rakhega.
3. Nakal ka chance ho to padho mat.
4. Zyada padhne se time waste
hota hai,time kharab karna
buri bat hai..
5. Kabhi viva mat do bcoz
bezzati ke 2 marks se izzat
ke 0 marks acche hote hai
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)