A woman died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to her, "Before you enter, can you tell me God's first name?" She thought for a moment and then said, "Andy." St. Peter was astonished and asked, "How did you come up with Andy?" "Well," the woman replied, " we sing it in church all the time.

Andy walks with me, Andy talks to me, Andy tells me I am his own."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 777 views

Pathan ny 15 rupy b.v ka sdqa utara

Pathan ny 15 rupy b.v ka sdqa utara

or us mn 85 rupy dal k 100 wala card load krwa lia

B.v ye kya kia?

Pathan: balance mery pas aa gya or sdqa Zardari Ko chla gya

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Sardar

1 sardar ghar se nekla tu daikha ke samnay kailay ka chelka para howa tha
Sardar: O mere khudaya.. Aaj phir phisalna parega

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)

Ek baar santa ko nakli bidi pite

Ek baar santa ko nakli bidi pite dekh banta bola: Yaar, bidi se dhua kyun nahi nikal raha?

Santa: Are bewkuf, dhua kaha se aayega, ye CNG bidi hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

AMERICAN LIFESTYLE

AMERICAN LIFESTYLE :
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DAUGHTER: “Sorry Dad,I got married ystrday.
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Forgot to invite U..
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DAD:” U nauty.. It’s Ok..
But Don’t forget next Time..

by Numan Malik (few years ago!)

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)