A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.

"I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

"So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"

To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1108 views

A woman goes to the doctor,

A woman goes to the doctor, and she’s beaten black and blue.

Doctor: “What happened?”

Woman, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every time my boyfriend comes home drunk he knocks lumps out of me."

Doctor, "I think I might have a cure for that. When your boyfriend comes home drunk, just take a mug of tea and start swishing it around in your mouth but don`t swallow it. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to his bed."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor no sign of bruising whatsoever.

Woman, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my boyfriend came home drunk, I swished with the tea. I just swished and swished, like washing machine and he didn`t touch me!"

Doctor, "See how much keeping your fuckin mouth shut helps?"

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

Gurdware waleyaan ne eh elaan

Gurdware waleyaan ne eh elaan kita hai k
gurdware wich 5, 10, 20, 50, 100, 500 de note nahi
chadaye jange
kyonKi
GANDHI di tind te rumaal nahi hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Wife to Husband

Wife to Husband: Suno Ji, doctor ne mujhe ik mahine k aaram k liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?

Funny Husband: Dusre doctor k paas..

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Sachin ki century nahi hone

denge Afridi: Hum Sachin ko kissi bi haal main Century ki century nehi bananey dey gey. Shoaib: Magher hum usey rokey gey kaisey!!!!! wo tu gazab ki form main hai?Afridi: Hum 100 key andur hi all out ho jaey gey...!! 

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

first friend

first friend: yar aaj main nay PC hotel main sirf 50 ropay main khana khaiya

2nd friend: naheen yaar woh kaisay?

ist friend: yaar bill to 2000 bana tha unhoan nay police ko bulwa liya aur main nay 50 ropay day ka jan churwai

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)