Not In Duty
Ek police Inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi.
Wife: Utho ji, ghar mein chori ho rahi hai.
Police Inspector: Mujhe sone de, main iss time duty par nahi hoon.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 817 views
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Santa 500 k note pr likha nmbr Dial kr rha thaBanta-ye tum kya kr rahe ho?yar me dekh raha hu gandhiji to chale gaye par unka mobile kiske pas hai
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband: may tang agaya hun
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Har cheez may meri Car mera ghar
mera mera karti ho
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Kabhi hamara bhi keh dya karo..
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Ab kiya dhoond rahi ho rahi ho?
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Wife:
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hamara duppata
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Yaad Tumhari Ati Hy Funny Udu Jokes
Tum Dor Sahi Majbor Sahi Par Yaad
Tumhari Ati Hy, Tum Sans Wahan Par
Lyti Ho Or Badbo Yahan Par Ati Hai…
by Aurangzeb Khan Tunio (few years ago!)
Santa Apni Wife Ke Saath Dinner Ke Liye Restaurant Mein Jata Hai.
Dinner Kerne Ke Baad Waiter Aata Hai.
Waiter: “Aapka Bill Sir”
Santa: “Yeh Lo Mera Card”
Waiter: “But Sir, Yeh Nahi Chalega, Ye Toh Ration Card Hai”
Santa: “Toh Phir Bahaar Kya Majaak Mein Likha Hai All Cards Are Accepted.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar: Yaar Ek Baat To Batao??
Pathan: Pucho..
Sardar: Google Ziyada Acha Hai Ya Yahoo..?
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Pathan: Ek Minute Ruko,
Hum Abhi Google Per Search Ker K Batata Hai.. :-D :-)
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar ko DRIP Lagi Thi
Jb DRIP Khtm Hony Lagi Tou Us Ny Apne Bhai Sy Kaha"Jao Sister Ko Bula Lao"
Wo 3 Din BaadPunjab Se Apni BEHENKo Le Aaya ... ;-
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Dulhe Ki Saaliya Joota Chupayi Ki Rasm Ka Pura Maja Le Rahi Thhi.
1st Sali: “Jiju, Main To 1100 Lungi”
2nd Sali: “Main 2100 Lungi”
Piche Santa Betha Ye Dekh Raha Thha, Kuch Soch Ke Bola.
Santa: “Arrey, Meri Maano To Nokia 2310 Lelo Usmein FM Bhi Hota Hai“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)