Upset is unhealthy
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes," the boy's mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.
"Who cares?" the mother replied.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 886 views
Similar Jokes
Ek bar ek chitti ne Hathani ke kan mein kuch kaha toh hathni behos ho gayi.
Phir kisine chitti se pucha ke tune kya kaha?
Chitti Boli: Maine itna hi kaha ke “Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hoon!”
by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Mujrim Ne Apne Pathan Vakeel Ko Kaha: “Koshish Karna Umar Qaid Ho Phansi Na Ho“
Vakeel: “Tum Chinta Mat Karo“
Court Ke Baad
Mujrim: “Kya Hua?“
Pathan: “Bahut Mushkil Se Umar Qaid Karwai, Adalat To Riha Kar Rahi Thi“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Husband: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 gareeb ladke ki shaadi ho rhi thi.
Pandit: kaho main apni patni koo apna sab kuch dene ki shapat leta hun...
peeche se awaaz aayi "lo bechaare ki cycle bhi gye".
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pathan England mein khana khane gaya or bhool gaya k murghi ko english mein kia kehty hain
waiter: "What do u want to have?"
Pathan: "Mother of eggs plz"
by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Modern Aashiq:
Aaj Apni Girl-Friend Ki Shaadi Mein
Ja Kar Ye Ehsaas Hua,
Ki Rajma Chawal Achhe Ho To Mohabbat Bhi Feeki Lagti Hai.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Aik Sardar Jab Bhi Kapray Dohta
Tu Bht Zor Ki Barish Ho Jati
Aik Din Bht Dhup Nikli
To Sardar Ny Shukar Kiya Aur Dukaan Say SURF Lenay Chala Gaya, Jb Dukaan Mai Enter Hua To,
”Badal” Bohat Zor Say Garja,
Sardar Ne “BAADAL Ki Tarf Dekh Kr Kaha:
KIDHR?? Main Te Nimko Lain Aya Wan:-)
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher:ap class k sab se ziyada nikame student kiun hu
student:miss kiun k mujh se nikama school chor gia hai
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Aj ke baat
Kisi ko uske uljhay hue baalo,
ganday or mailay kapro ki waja
se ghareeb na samjho.
Ho sakta hai wo Engineer ho or
uske papers ho rahay hon.
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)