Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 880 views

A Very Insulting Parrot

This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam."

She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks.

"Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you."

The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?"

The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street."

So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. When the woman enters the building, the parrot begins complaining, swearing, and even bit her once.

Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is very cold.

She says, "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!"

The parrot says, "Okay, okay, I promise it won't happen again. I am deeply sorry."

Within five minutes, he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger.

The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes.

When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. "I swear it will never ever happen again! I will never insult you again! I promise!" As he thaws, he looks up at the lady and says, "I do have one question though. That turkey in there, what'd he do, attack you?"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Mathematics Teacher

Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student: 5
Teacher: How?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Student

Teacher: Shadi ke waqt Dulha ko gorhy (horse) par kion betaya jata hai??
.
Student: Last warning di jati hai ky abhi bhi waqt hai bhaag ja….

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)

theif with a knife

theif with a knife:
Give all your money to me.

Man: Do you know who I am..?
I am the presiden of this country.

Theif: Really … Ok than give me my money back.

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

Mujhe Bhi Pagal Kerega Kya

Ek Bahut Bada Doctor Mental Hospital Mein Round Ke Liye Jata Hai,

Wahaan Pagalon Ka Checkup Karte Hue Usne Ek Pagal Ko Dekha Jo Chup Chaap Baitha Tha

Doctor Ke Man Mein Na Jane Kya Aya Usne Paagal Se Puchha
Doctor: Tum Pagal Kyun Hue?

Pagal Rote Hue Bola: Maine Ek Vidhva Se Shaadi Ki, Par Uski Ek Jawan Beti Thi Usko Dekh Ke Mere Baap Ne Us Se Shaadi Kar Dali,

Aise Meri Wo Beti Meri Maan Ban Gayi, Fir Un Ke Ghar Beti Hui, To Wo Meri Bahan Hui Magar Main Uski Naani Ka Pati Tha,

Is Liye Wo Meri Nawasi Bhi Hui Isi Tarha Mera Beta Hua Jo Apni Daadi Ka Bhai Ban Gaya Aur Main Apne Bete Ka Bhanja,

Aur Mera Baap Mera Damaad Ban Gaya, Aur Mera Beta Apne Dada Ka Sala Ban Gaya Aur

Doctor Cheekhte Hue: Abey Chup Kar Sale Mujhe Bhi Pagal Kerega Kya?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)