Columbians Run Away
Why did a group of Columbians run away from the computer lab?
Because... The computer said, “You have performed an illegal operation and will be shutdown!”
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!) / 826 views
Similar Jokes
A pathan for an exam had studied only one essay ‘FRIEND’,
but in the exam the essay which came was ‘FATHER’ .
He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read:
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pathan was Weeping:
Man: Kyon Ro rahe ho?
Pathan: Meri Murghi Mar gai.
Man: Mera Baap Mar Gaya Magar main to Nahi Roya.
Pathan: Oye Tera Baap kya Anday Deta tha
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Ladki Apne Boyfriend Ko Kehti Hai.
Girl Friend: “Jaanu Mein Apna Purse Gar Bhul Aayi Hoon Mujhe 1000/- Rupaye Chahiye”
Boy Friend: “Sach Mein Dost Hi Dost Ke Kaam Aata Hai, Lo 20/ Rupaye, Riksha Kar Or Ghar Se Purse Le Aa“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Aik Memon Ne Apna Nayaa GHAR Construct Kia
Construction Ke Baad Ooper Walay Portion Per PAINT Karaaya……….
AUR Neechay Waaley Portion Per Likh Dia………….
“SAME AS ABOVE”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
muna ammi kaha ja rehien hain,
Ammi:beta main bazaar ja rehi hun,
Muna: “ammi main bi chalon ga”,
Ammi: “magar beta tum ne kal hi to kapre kharede hain”,
Muna: “ammi humhare teacher kehte hain ke roz naha kar naye kapre pehnte hain”.
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
ArZz KiYa Hai,
-
AaNe WaLEy AaTe Ha
JaNEy WaLEy JaTEy Hai,
YaadaiN BuS UnKi Reh JaaTi Ha
Jo mu SuJaA K JaTe Ha.;-)
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
1 Admi K Haath Ki 6 Ungliyaan Thien.
Sub Log Usay “AKBAR”kehte thay
Socho Q?
.
Qk AKBAR Uska Naam tha Bai gee
Tujhy Her SmS Main Fankaari Chahiye.
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Biwi (shohar se): Mai ghar chor kar ja rahi hun.
Shohar(ghusse se): Jaan choro.
Biwi: Yeh aap ki Jaan kehne ki aadat bhi naa mujhe hamesha rok leti hai.
by Aaliya Umer (few years ago!)
Santa: kelaa kitna hai?
Dukaanwala: 1 Rupay
Santa: 60 paise mein doge kya?
Dukaanwala: itne me to sirf kele kaa chilkaa hi milegaa
Santa: to 40 paise leke sirf kelaa dedo
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)