The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

“Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?” Silence.

“Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?” Absolute silence.

“Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”

When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor’s logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!”

by Jawad Ali Abbasi (few years ago!) / 1993 views

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

i love you

Sardar ko bar bar "I love you" ka msg araha tha
.
Dost ne pocha: Khair hai? Aaj tu boht "I love you"
ke msgs arahe hain !
.
Sardar: O jee aaj mai galti se BEWI ka mobile laya
hon eslie !

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Sardar Ji checked his girlfriend's mobile

Sardar Ji checked his girlfriend's mobile to know under what name she had saved his number, when he dialed his number from her phone, it showed "TIME PASS NO. 8"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony
mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Husband wife ko English sikha raha tha

Husband wife ko English sikha raha tha.

Wife dopehar me husband se: dinner lo Ji.

Husband Jahil ye dinner nahi lunch hai.

Wife: Jahil tu, Tera baap, Tera Sara khandan,

ye raat ka bacha hua khana hai.

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)