Ghar me jawan beti hai
Santa buys a new Pressure Cooker & next day he returns it.
Shopkeeper: Why are you returning it?
Santa: Ghar me jawan beti hai, or ye sala seeti bajata hai.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1048 views
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Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.
Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.
Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.
Pathan: Thanks Yara..
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
koi chez be-wafai se barh ker kia hogi,
Ghum-e-tanhai judai se barh ker kia hogi,
Kisi ko deni ho jawani main saza,
to wo saza PARHAI se barh ker kia hogi:-)
by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Jab rishte walay ap ko daikhnay ayen to apny mun per Meezan oil lagain.
Q K
Her cheez
Meezan me achi lagti hai. .
by @irha@ (few years ago!)
House owner: Rs 500 kiraya hoga.
Tanent: Thik hai. Lekin aapke ghar me chuhey nach
rahe hai.
House owner: To saale 500 me kya Sheela nachegi?
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever
been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get my mummy then
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa Ne Makhi K Par Kaat K Kaha "Urr Ja...
"Jab Makhi Nahi Urri To Usney Kaha...
"Sabit Hota Hai K Makhi K Par Kaat ...
Diye Jaein To Wo "Behri" Ho Jati Hai..
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Do Dost Film Dekhnay Gaye
Rastay Main Pan Ki Dukan Se Paan Khareed Liya
Aur Aagey Peeche Beth Gaye
Beech Film Main Aagey
Bethay Dost Nai Mushkil Main Kaha
Yaar Peek Jama Hogayi Hai Kia Karoo
Peechey Walai Ne Kaha Yaar Aglay Ki Jaib Main Dalday
Tou Usne Kaha Ke Nahi Yar
Is Tarah Touu Us Ko Pata Chal Jaye Ga
Tou Peechay Walai Ne Kaha
Abhi Tak Tujh Ko Pata Chala ?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Thora sa apna face mobile ki
screen k samnay karo Thora sa
or Thora left Bas bas thek he
Hilna nhi Lakh d Lannet e
Kbhi sms b kr dia kro
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Punjabi mere abu itny lamby hain k wo chalty pankhy me hath de dete hain.
Pathan:mere abbu b lamby hain par un me keera nai hai.
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)