Food Quotes And Quips
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .
"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin
"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1032 views
Similar Jokes
An Unmarried Man Wrote His Status On Facebook As: “Wanted Wife”
Two Girls Like It.
.
.
.
And 10,000 Men Commented: “Please Take Ours“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Customer: I am afraid your make of car does not
suit us. My fiancee cannot reach the brakes and
the steering-wheel at the same time.
Salesman: But sir, the car is perfect. Why not try
a new girl?
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Best way to purpose a girl.
Take her to sea,
Say her to sit in a boat.
Then take the boat in the middle of sea.
Then say Marry Me
or Leave My Boat
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Major Rohail: Jab tum itni tezi se garri chalatey ho To mujhe bohat darr lagta hai.
Driver: Major Sahab aap b meri tarha ankhen Band kar liya kro.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pathan asked Doctor: Milk peeny se rung gora hota hai?
Dr: Haan us main Calcium hota hai, isi liye.
Phtan: Chal jhootay, Phir bhains ka bacha kyon kala hota hai?
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Banta: What is a fine?
Santa: Fine is a tax for doing wrong.
Banta: And what is tax?
Santa: A tax is a fine for doing right.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa Apni Girlfriend Ke Sath Park Mein Baitha Tha.
Ek Budhe Ne Dekha Aur Santa Ko Bola.
Budha: “Bete, Kya Ye Hamari Sanskriti Hai?”
Santa: “Nahi Ji Ye To Apni Patiala Wali Simmi Hai“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Iqbal (Ahmad say):dunya ka sab say taqat war aadmi kon hai?
Ahmad: traffic police jo sirf hath kay aik isharay say sainkron garyan rok leta hai.
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Maa Khushkabri Hai
Sardar On Phone :
Maa Khushkabri Hai
Maa: Bol Beta
Sardar: Hum 2 Se 3 Ho Gaye
Maa :
Mubarak Ho ,Beta Hua Ya Beti?
Sardar:
Meri Biwi Ne Dusri Shadi Karli..
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Sardar ne “pent”
dho k parosan ki Shalwar k
pas sukhne k liye dal di aur awaz di
behen je jB tm Shalwar Utarogi tu muje Awaz dena ma bi
“pent” Utar Longa..:p
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)