Food Quotes And Quips

Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin

"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 523 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Teacher Mehnat Karoge

Teacher Mehnat Karoge
To Kuch Banoge

Sant-Teacher Hamra
Gadha To Itni Mehnat Karta Hai

Magr Wo Ab Tak Kuch Nahi Bana ...;->

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa: Station jane ke kitne loge?

Santa: Station jane ke kitne loge?
Ricksha wala: 50
Santa: 20 le lo.
Ricksha wala: 20 mein kon le ke jayega.
Santa: Tum peche betho hum le ke jayega..

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Words For Life Time

Words For Life Time...

"Try to make At-least 2 Persons Happy in a Day."

But Make Sure that One of Them is
YOURSELF. :-)

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pagal ho gaye kya

Husband: Tum Kon Hoo
Biwi: Pagal Hogay Kya Apni Biwi Koo Bhol Gaye
Husband: Nasha Her Gham Bhola Deta He

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Student

"The life is so short even to complete your sleep, I wonder how people find to study"
.
(William kaamchor )

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Student


Teacher: Shadi ke waqt Dulha ko gorhy (horse) par kion betaya jata hai??
.
Student: Last warning di jati hai ky abhi bhi waqt hai bhaag ja….

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Santa was reading Financial Times. .

Santa was reading Financial Times. . Heading Reads”Microsoft buys yahoo messenger for 8.5 billion”.. He says “O teri, kharida kyun, Download kar leta” :D :D ..LOL

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ek deewar par likha tha

Ek deewar par likha tha 'Yaha kutte susu karte hain' Santa ne waha susu kiya. Fir muskura kar bola-ise kehte hai dimaag, susu maine kiya naam kutte ka aaya.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Gober type food.

Husband:
Aaj Tumne Ye Kaisa Khana
Banaya Hai,GOBAR Jaisa….
Wife- HEY RAM!!
Is Aadmi Ne Kya-Kya Taste Kar
Rakha Hai….

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Phatan khudkushi kr rha tha

Phatan khudkushi kr rha tha.

Dost:Ye kya kr rhe ho?.

Phatan:Mera BV larke k sath bhag gyaMe us larke k bena zindaNhi reh skta

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Ande Ka Kya Fayda Hai?

Techar Ye Kiska Signature H

Wifes insulting their husbands

on mothers day!

Dhamki

Banta was driving

Negro died & went heaven!

Santa Ko Ek Bar

lo g kahani shoru

Sardarni.. janu mere pait me..

Existing Users Login
User ID  
Password  
 
 
Join Now / Forgot Password

also you can..
Login with Facebook