Food Quotes And Quips
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .
"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin
"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 910 views
Similar Jokes
Husband: may tang agaya hun
.
.
Har cheez may meri Car mera ghar
mera mera karti ho
.
.
Kabhi hamara bhi keh dya karo..
.
Ab kiya dhoond rahi ho rahi ho?
.
.
Wife:
.
.
.
hamara duppata
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
1 Aadmi Doorbeen Se Asman Dekh Rha Tha Pathan Bhe Pas Khara Ho Kar Dekhne Lga
Achank 1 Tara Tuta
Pathan Zor Se Chilaya:
“Wah Ustad Kya Nishana Hai.;-):
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic." "Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Define a True Music Lover?
A Girl singing in a Bathroom
While Taking Bath
and a Boy Near the Keyhole
is Using His Ears Not His Eyes.
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Sardar’s Theory
Moon Is More Important Than Sun Coz It Gives Light At Nite
When Lite Is Needed
But Sun Gives Light
During Daytime When Light Is Not Needed.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar Became The Driver Of Train
The Very 1st Train Driven By Him
Was 8 Hours Late Bcoz?
He Stopped At Every Phatak N Askd
“Jalandher Nu Ehi Line Jandi A?”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Father: If u pass in exams, I'll gift you 1 cycle son: If i fail?
Father: I'll gift 100 cycles
son: Why?
Father: Phir mera puttar dukan khole ga cyclan di.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Macchar ne 1 admi ko kata
Admi:
Din me b kat rahy HO
.
.
.
.
.
Macchar:
Kya karo Ghar ma behen ki shadi Hy Or Larky walo Ne 1 liter khoon jahez Me Manga hy;-)
by Engineer Rizwan (few years ago!)
Pathan: Aj Me bus Ke Peache Ghar Tak Bhagta Huwa Aya Ho Or Kirye Ke 20 Rupe B Bacha Lie.
2sra Pathan:
Tum Bhut Bewakoof Ho Rikshe Ke Peache Bhagte To 80 Rupe Bach Jate:
by Sohaib Tariq (few years ago!)
Ek ladka ladki ko dekhne gaya
.
.
.
Ladke ne english me baat karne ki sochi Aur bola- English chalti hai na ?
.
.
.
Ladki sharmate hue-
.
.
.
.
SODA saath ho to DESI bhi chalti hai
by Numan Malik (few years ago!)