Food Quotes And Quips

Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin

"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 976 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

funny

Two Cows R StaNding In A Field
One Says To The Other
R U Worried About Mad Cow Disease?
The Other One Says “No
It Doesn’t Worry Me, I’m A Horse!”
Submitted By: Michael Trew Man
How Can U Tell If A Man Is Happy?
Woman : Who CaRes?
Use As An Example Of A Sexist Joke.

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Boy:I love U

Boy:I love U.
Tum dunya ki sbse khubsurat larki ho

Girl:
Acha pr tmhre peche mjhse b zyada haseen larki khari he.
Boy turn back bt waha koi nai tha

Girl:Agar tum mjhse pyar krte to kbi pechy nahi murrte. . .

MORAL:
Abay moral woral kuch nahi
Bachi tez nikli uske pas zubaida aapa ka ye totka tha.;->

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
sunday and I have to enjoy

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: why three?

Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)
Bhains par baithe ek gujju

Bhains par baithe ek gujju ko Traffic Police ne roka aur poocha: tumhara helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega.

Gujju replied: baawle dhyaan se dekh neeche! 4 wheeler hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Implanted a Woman's Ear

A Doctor Implanted a New Ear to a man:

Man: You idiot, You gave me a woman's ear.

Doctor: It makes no difference.

Man: It does, Now I can hear everything but understand nothing. :-)

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
santa was playing Chess with his Dog!

santa was playing Chess with his Dog!

Friend: Aray wahhh! tera kutta to buhat intelligent hai....

santa: kiya khaak intelligent hai,

5 me sey 3 to mai jeeta hun...

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar will Marry Again

Sardar’s Wife Dies:
He Is Calm

But His Wife’s Lover Is Furiously Crying..

Finally Sardar Consoles Him:
Don’t Worry Yaar
I Will Marry Again

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
lecature k darmayan aik larka

lecature k darmayan aik larka uath kar cahla gaya

teacher; yea keo uth kar cahla gaya? larke ka dost; sir is ko nend me cahlny ki adat ha

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Miss Call Humari Khoj Hai

America-Mobile Hamari Khoj Hai.

China-Sim Card Hamari Khoj Hai.

Japan-Sms Hamari Khoj Hai.

Koriya-Blootuth Hamari Khoj Hai.

INDIA-MISS CALL HAMARI KHOJ Hai..

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Polio team drwaze pr aai

Polio team drwaze pr aai
Pathan BV se:bandooq or kartoos kahan hen?
Polio team bhagi, peche se pathan ne awaz di:
Ruko bhai, ye mere bachon k naam hen…

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Kisi Ki Parwaah Nahi Karta

Mairy khayal mai

Mari shadi main ao ge

Neutron in the Bar

The caption ofvteam

"How Many Senses DoesA Man H..

Sardar

Tum cricket dehkte ho

Stude well my child

Hum eid k liye kapre bnae ga

Existing Users Login
User ID
Password
 
 
Join Now / Forgot Password

also you can..
Login with Facebook