Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin

"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 859 views

Dr.-Aapki Biwi

Dr.-Aapki Biwi Ab Sirf 2 Dino Ki Mehman Hai, I Am So Sorry!

Santa- Sorry Ki Koi Baat Nahi Hai

Dr. Saab, Jab 20 Saal Nikal Gaye to 2 Din Bhi Nikal Hi Jayenge

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Makan Malik : Rs 700 kiraya hoga.

Makan Malik : Rs 700 kiraya hoga.
Kirayedar : Thik hai. Lekin aapke makan me chuhey nach rahe hai.

Malik : To saale 700 me kya Sheela nachegi?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Dard kahan hai

Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai apko?
Patient (F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail
batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here,
then touches her earlobe and says here, then
touches her left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai,
teri finger mien dard hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Teacher Aa rahay Hain

Dada Apny Potay Se: Tumhary Teacher Aa rahay Hain,
Tm Chhup Jaao.

Pota: Pehle Aap Chhup Jaen,
Maine Aapki Mout Ka Bahana Bana Kar 2 Hafte Ki Chutti Li Hai. :-)

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)