Search Results for 'teacher'
On a trip to the art gallery, a teacher was annoyed to see a boy slapping a statue. He marched over and demanded,
Why are you slapping that statue?'
'Because the gallery attendant told me to beat it,' replied the boy.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A class went on a school trip to Rome. On the Sunday they all went to church and when they came out the teacher said, `I hope you all behaved.' .
Oh, yes, sir,' said one girl. `A kind man offered me a plate full of money but I said, "no thanks".
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A teacher took her class on a nature trail through the woods. She stopped by a tree and said, `Brian, can you tell me what the outer part of a tree is called?'
I don't know, sir,' said Brian.
Bark, boy, bark!' said the teacher.
OK, sir,' said Brian. `Woof! Woof!'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A kindergarden teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her, absentmindedly she removed her glasses to clean them.
"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on !"
Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet aren't empty."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
One day a kid goes to the teacher and says
KID: "Miss Can I Go To The Toilet"
TEACHER: "Yes but first you have to say the alphabet"
So He Says the alphabet.
KID: "A b c d e f g h i j k l m n o _ q r s t u v w x y z"
TEACHER: "Wheres The P"
KID: "Its Running down my leg miss"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too?!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No teacher, I'm having trouble listening!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: When you yawn, you're supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What, and get bitten?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Why didn't you answer me?
Pupil: I did; I shook my head.
Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here, do you?!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Our teacher talks to herself; does yours?
Yes, but she doesn't realize it; she thinks we're actually listening!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)