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Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 punjabi k gher main 2 bachey jurwan paida huway, to dadi boli:
Lo Dasso Hun tay pakistan day halaat vaikh k bachey vi kally aan tou dar day ney.....
(lo batao ab tu Pakistan key halat daikh key bachey bi akaily aney sey dartey hain)
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
ek zoo ma ek tota 3 language bol sakta tha
1- English 2- Urdu 3- Punjabi
Ek din ek admi nay test karnye k liye usko kaha k who are you?
Tota Bola I Am Parrot
Admi Nay Phir Kaha Tum Kon Ho
Tota Bola Ma Tota Hu
Adme Nay Phir Pocha Tu Kon Ey
Tota Bola
Taree Pen Da Yaar Wan Salyaa Tenu Ek Warii Samaj Nai Andee Ma Tota Waan
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
Topic 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
Topic 5. Communication Skills : Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
Topic 6. Communication Skills II: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
Topic 8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
Topic 9. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have
Topic 10. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both
by Hina Ali (few years ago!)
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.
Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?
Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai
by ashfaq (few years ago!)
The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class.
"Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?" "Yes," said Jackie, and she did. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?" "That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."
So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
"How much for a season pass?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Car me baithi 1 Lady ne, 1 bhikhari ko 1 rupya dekar,
dua dene ko kaha!
Bhikhari: Car me to baithi ho, ab kya aasmaan me baithogi?
by Farah Awan (few years ago!)
Bacha on 1st April: Mama, kitchen main naukar naukrani ko kiss kar raha hai
Mama: Main abhi jaa ke unhain theek karti hoon.
Bacha: Ha ha ha April fool! "Woh toh papa hain."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.
Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek Pathan hamesha Apne Mobile Ke Saath 1 Scissor Rakhta Tha,
Kisi Ne Poocha??
“Khan Saab Ye Konsi Science Hai ?”
Pathan: : O Yaara Kabhi Kabhi Call Katna Bhi Par Jata Hai Na.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?
1st Child: I came here for a blood test.
2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?
1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying profusely.
The first one was astonished.
1st Child: Why are you crying now?
2nd Child: I came for a urine test
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Log ap ko bura kahe D0NT MIND
Pagal kahe gussa na hona
Jahil kahe to b cool rahna
Lekin agar khobsurat kahe to
rakh k chamat marna Q k mazaq ki b 1 had hoti ha
by Sajjad Qureshi (few years ago!)