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A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"
The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."
The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?"
The blonde sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??"
by Kamran (few years ago!)
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Interviewer Let Me Check Your English
Interviewer: Let Me Check Your English,
Tell Me The Opposite Of Good ?
Sardar: Bad
Interviewer: Come ?
Sardar: Go
Interviewer: Ugly ?
Sardar: Pichlli
Interviewer: PICHLLI?
Sardar: UGLY
Interviewer: Shut Up
Sardar: Keep Talking
Interviewer: Ok Now Stop It
Sardar: Ok Now Carry On
Interviewer: Abay Chup Ho Ja….Chup ho ja….Chup ho jaa
Sardar: Abe Bolta Reh….Bolta Rah….Bolta Reh
Interviewer: Are yaar
Sardaar: Are Dushman
Interviewer: Get Out
Sardar: Come In
Interviewer: U r Rejected
Sardaar: I m Selected…Bale Bale…
by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
A confession by a girl in
church and amazing
reply she got from priest -
Girl: i m madly in love with a
boy
who is far away from
me.
I m in india and he lives in uk.
We met on marriage website,
Became friends on fb,
Had long chats on whatsapp,
Proposed each other on skype,
N now 2 months of relationship
through viber,
I need ur blessings and good
wishes father… am I on right
path na ?
Priest said to her:
Good my child..
now get married on twitter,
Have fun on tango,
Buy your kids from ebay,
Send them through gmail,
And if u r fed up with ur
husband
or kids,
toh unko OLX pe bech deNa
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A Rule for success:
Always consult a lady before doing any important task in your life.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
But act opposite to her advice
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me
by Asim Raza (few years ago!)
Naag! Do Not Punch Me
Santa:Do You Know English?
Banta:Yes
Santa:Ok! Tell me What Is The Opposite Of Naag Panchmi?
Banta:So Simple Yar, Naag! Do Not Punch Me
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
2 Married Men Talking- 10yrs Ago, Whenever I Returned Home, My Dog Used To Greet Me By Barking & My Wife By Kissing. Now They Both Exactly Do The Opposite
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Pretty Zinta : baba meri IPL Team haar rahi hai kya karun???
Nirmal Baba: jhappiyan dete ho players ko???
Preity Zinta: han baba
Nirmal Baba: apne players ko dena band karo opposite team walo ko dena shuru karo Kripa ho jaegi
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Husband’s version:
My wife is like “Terms & Conditions” of a website!
I never understand what she says, but I always Accept…!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Newtons First Law Of Ishq:
The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Using Her Sandals
Newtons 2nd Law Of Ishq:
The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of
The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increament Or Decreament Of The Bank Balance.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Bengali babu returns from China.
Bengali asks wife: Do I look like a foreigner ?
Wife: No.
Bengali: Look carefully, do I look like a foreigner ?
Wife again replies: No.
By now Mr Bengali was fuming.
Bengali yells: All those women in China were fools. Where ever I visited, they all said: "Look a foreigner
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Musharraf joined Pakistani army and was given a gun.
Musharraf asked his Officer: Sir, to what side should I point its nozzle, towards myself or to the opposite side.
Officer: Stupid, keep it anyway, in both the cases it will benefit the nation.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar was getting interviewed for a job.
Interviewer said Tell me opposite of Good
sardar: Bad
interviewer: Come
sardar: Go
interviewer: Ugly
Sardar: Pichli
interviewer: Shutup!
Sardar: Keep talking
interviewer: Get out!
Sardar: Come in
interviewer: Oh God!
Sardar: Oh devil
interviewer: U R rejected!
Sardar: I m selected
BALLE BALLE!!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)