Search Results for '1'

Hair cutting

Santa Hair cutting k kitne lete ho?
Banta Barber:- Rs 30
Santa:- Shaving ke?
Banta:- Rs10
Santa:- Shave My Head

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Gaaye kitna dodh deti hai

Gahak: (doodh waly sy)
Tumhari gaay kita doodh deti he
Doodh wala: 5 kilo
Gahak: is main say kitna bech letey ho?
Doodh wala: yehi koi 12 kilo

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Lets count

Thief1: Lets Count d Money We hav
Looted Today!
Thief2: I m So Tired,
We'll See it in d Newspaper Tomorrow.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
voda fone care

Called @ vodafone care

A girl picked up the phone

Girl: vodafone care mein aapka swaagat hai

Boy:thank u

Girl: mai aapki kya sahaayta kar sakti hu??

Boy:kya aap shaadi karna chahti hai mujhse??

Girl: jee aapne galat number laga diya hai


Boy:nai nai maine sahi number lagaya hai, aap shaadi karengi?

Girl: jee mai shaadi mein interested nai hu


Boy:arre madam sun toh lijiye ek baar

Girl: not interested

Boy:love marriage karengi toh honeymoon mein switzerland, arrange marriage karengi toh paris

Girl: jee mai aapse shaadi karna hee nai chahti toh aap offer kyu de rahe hai??

Boy:court marriage ka expense 10,000rs
Normal wedding ka expense 2,00,000rs
Muslim style wedding mein sirf 200rs


Girl: aapko samajh nai aata ki mujhe shaadi nai karni fir bhi aap samajte nai

Boy:ab pata chala madam aapko humara dard, jabki hume nai interest hota phir bhi aap humaari naak mein ungli karne baar baar call karti rehti hai


Girl shocked, boy rocked :-)

by Mohammad Awais Rashid (few years ago!)
Bekaar hi shak

Naukraani:-malkin aap mujh per bekaar hi shak kar
rahi hai,main aapko kaise samjhaau mujhe to shabd
nahin mil rahe hai.
Malkin:- tujhe shabd nahin mil rahe hain,aur mujhe
1 thaali,5 katori aur 2 drzan chammach nahin mil
rahi hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
women

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

by inayat khan (few years ago!)
women

Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

by inayat khan (few years ago!)
Funny

Caller: hello Pizza Hunt ??

Pizza Hunt: yes sir

Caller: 1 large pizza, 2 small pizza aur ek coke
bhejo

Pizza hunt: Kiske naam pe bheju sir ?
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Caller: Allah ke Naam pe dede baba… :P:

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny



1dost:Agr Me Subah Apni Car Me Niklu To
Sham Tak Me Apni Aadhi Zamee B Nahin Dekh Sakta

2ra dost:Hamare Pas B Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi..:P:P

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny



Urdu ke liye 1 dabayye, English ke liye 2 dabayye.
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Saala ye to Hindi bolne wale ke sath nainsafi hai..:P:P

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny

1 yehi baat mujhy chain
se sony nahi deti.
“DOST”
K
pakistan bhar ki auraton
ko
Aetemad ariel par Q hy.
(,”)/’hum mar
<\/ gya hen
_/\_ kya??

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny

1 admi apne dost k Ghr gya,
bell bjane pr chota sa Bacha bahr nkla.
Admi:
Beta apky Abu ghr pe hn?
Bcha:
Ji wo to bzar gye hn.
Admi:
Acha apny brray bhai ko bulao.
Bcha:
Wo to cricket khelne gya h.
Admi:
Acha tumhari Ami to ghr pe hi hongi?
Bcha:
Ji wo apni saheliyon k 7 Picnic pr gai hn.
Admi: (gussy se):
To beta aap Ghr me Q bethe ho? Aap b kahin jao.
Bcha:
“Mein B apne dost k Ghr aya hua hun”
Admi: Lakh di Lanat Tere Nikky jay tay..

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny

Boy: Muj se Shadi karo gi?
Girl: Nahi Boy: Q Nahi?
Girl: Ghar Wale Nahi Many gy!
Boy: Ghar me Kon Kon hy?
Girl: 1 Husband or 4 Bache.
Boy. Thek ha baji..:p:p

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny

Kid 2 Mom:” 10 Rs Dena, Bahar 1 Garib Ko
Dene Hen..
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Mom:” Kaha Hai Garib.. ??
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Kid:” Bechra Bahar Dhup Me Kulfiyan Bech
Raha Hai..:p:p

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny

Girl:”Is dress ka kya price hai.. ??
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Shopkeeper:”Sirf 5 kiss,
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Girl:”Aur us dress ka.. ??
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Shopkeeper:”10 kiss..
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Girl:”Dono dress pack kardo, bill daadi
dengi..:p:p

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
000000 14 august 2015 a terrible fight Aaj mere pass Ab Yaha Sirf Mera Raj Hoga account adult Aftar agar ajeeb farmaish santa ki akbar altaf hussain anas Animal August Aunty Azadi Baba Bacha Bachelors think that Married men are lucky backup Bakra Bakra Eid Barish Bechare Janwar Bhi Ab Darte Hai beggar Bhagwan bijli kahan se ati hai bijli kahan se ati hai? Birthday Biwi Biwi 1 Faltu Musibat Ha biwi ke deewane to bahut hai blonde Body bollywood Butt cartoon chai chand Chaudhry chudai chut Computer crazy Cricket daag Daal suppose ki hai dear dear this computer Dekho na Wo aadmi mujhe Ghur Ghur k Dekh raha hai demo Devta dil ki dhadkan tej ho gayi Dirty Doctor Dulhan Ek Ek Rupaya Bachata Hai Apna Muftimal Ek Tapori Ki Wife Election english english ki aisi ki taisi Farak Ladke Aur Ladki Mein Faraz Fart fashion films friendship frying pan Funny poetry gaand GALA CHECK KERNA HAI gand gul khan Haathi habshi Hanuman HAPPY SING: GHAR MAI MERA HE Harami HEAD himmat hai to ek ek karke aao hindi joke hindi jokes Hindu Hoor Hoshyaar bander hum log itnay upper aagaiy Imran Imran khan In english irada pakka ho to sab mil sakta hai Ishq Kiya Bhi To Kis Se Kiya Islam Jatt Jo Dosray Ko Apni Baat Jokes Jungle Kadhai kela Kelay ka chilka Khan Kiske Baap Ka Kya Jaata Hai kiske baap ka kya jaata hai? Kiss Larka lawyer little johnny Londa love lover Lucha machar mahajir mandir Marasi Marriage Meera Morning most popular Mubarak Ho Khan Sab naughty naukar Nawaz nawaz sharif New York nonveg Pandit: Bhagwan, agar tum muje pappu parent parents Pathan Poetry Police police wale bhi jeene nahi dete Politics Punjabi Qurbani Ramzan result Rishta Romance Romantic Roza Saas santa santa banta Santa Ki Biwi Ka Operation Sardar Sardar And Bomb Sardar ji sardar jokes sardar vs pathan Sardarji Sawan Shadi SHAIR ARZ HAI shayari Short Siasat Sikh simple site sooraj raat ko kyu nahi nikalta sooraj raat ko kyu nahi nikalta? Student suhaag raat Suhag Suhagraat Suna Tha Kya Apne Kabhi Esa Sentence Suna Tha Kya Apne Kabhi Esa Sentence? tabhi pathan ghar late pahunchta hai teacher teacher teacher ka farak hai test tota Tourist Urdu Urdu jokes volcano Vote Wazoo wife Wifi Yaar tune apni Biwi ko Talak kyu diya yaar tune apni biwi ko talak kyu diya? Zardari zaroorat